Which is why fake people drive me nuts.
Here's a scenario. You meet someone who is seriously the kindest person on the planet. We're not talking just a nice smile and 'hello', we're talking someone who uses the phrase 'precious' in a sentence and they don't mean the movie. So you meet this person and think 'I need to hang out with them; maybe their kindness will rub off on my general sourpuss-ness'. (Yes, I realize that isn't a word...work with me here!)
You get to know this person and wow, she's great. She makes you feel like a million bucks, you are happier just being around her. She is kind and compassionate to all she sees. Then BAM! One day her true colors come out. Suddenly you see a side to her you never thought you'd ever see. It's like when you're watching "Orange is the New Black" and suddenly there's a boob on the screen. Where did that come from? The beautiful, kind, wonderful person is now gossiping, talking smack about those same people she'd just praised, and cursing like a sailor.
Who is this person? Why, it's Fakey McFakerson.
I used to really care what people thought of me. I'd be lying if I said I really didn't care at all, but what it comes down to is this...I am who I am; take it or leave it.
I don't have the time or the energy for Fakey McFakerson. You're only fooling yourself. Instead, be honest. Your life isn't roses. Who's is? I mean, really. There are many things we'd all do differently if we had a do-over button. But you don't. I'd rather have a few close friends who would defend me and stand by my side through thick and thin, than dozens of Fakey's that only want to be superficial together. Here's how that conversation would go::
Fakey #1: Oh my goodness, I have the most wonderful story to tell. This morning at the breakfast table, my little Johnny told me that he thought he was the luckiest boy in the world to have me as a mommy. I mean, he's just the most precious little boy.
Fakey #2: How precious. My daughter told me that she loves it when I dress her up like a princess when we go to church. I just think we can worship the Lord better that way. And she never gets a speck of dirt on her clothes. She's just the most precious little girl.
Fakey #1: Did I tell you I ran into an old friend? She told me how calm and beautiful I look. She was just so precious to say that. I don't get rattled by anything. No matter what happens, I'm always calm and considerate.
Fakey #2: I just think we are awesome women. Our kids are just the best kids ever! I know I am around my kids 24/7, but I wouldn't dream of anything else. They are just so precious. I have them in so many after-school activities and they just love it. Every night of the week is a different sport or lesson. I love it when they're in plays, games, concerts, and programs and I can stand in front of the crowd and just smile at all they've achieved.
Me: (after I puke a little in my mouth) My kids drive me nuts on a daily basis. Not a day goes by that one or both doesn't stain or rip their clothes, pee outside, or turn into a little sh*t when it's bed time. My daughter wouldn't wear a dress if we paid her. My son would only say he's lucky to have me as a mom if I let him have cereal for supper...again. Oh, and my kids don't do many after-school activities because a)I work and b) I want them to be kids. Banged up knees and everything.
So the moral of the story here, kids is this. Quit acting like a Stepford wife. Be yourself. Once you learn to love yourself, faults and all, you may actually like yourself. And others will too. And if they don't, who needs them? They're too stupid to be your friend anyway.
One more thing...
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