I'm going to make someone mad...

So, lately something's been bugging me.  To be fair this has been bugging me for a while, but I have nothing if not restraint (HA!) so here it is...

Why to parents-to-be think that ultrasound exists only to show them the gender of their child?  It's ridiculous.  In the past week, I've had multiple facebook friends post how many days until they find out the gender of their baby.  3 more days!  2 more days!  Any guesses?  Yea, it's either a boy or a girl.  Nailed it!

I'm a sonographer.  Most people who read this blog know that.  Most people who find this out for the first time get a grin on their faces and say "Do you look at babies!?  I would LOVE to look at babies all day!  It looks so easy!"   I just smile and say no.  I actually work in radiology so I rarely scan babies.  There's a reason for this.  I'm trained how to scan babies.  What does that mean?  It means I'm trained to scan every single inch of your unborn baby to look for abnormalities.  Big scary names, like anencephaly, trisomy 13-18-21, spina bifida, renal agenesis, polydactly, VSD, and the list goes on.  And yes, I'm also trained how to look for the gender.  I choose not to work in a prenatal office because of so many reasons.

While you and your partner/family/friends come in all excited to find out if it's a boy or girl, let me give you a few tips about what the sonographer is thinking at that moment::

 - why did you bring 10 people with you?  It's distracting and you DO NOT want me distracted right now.
- your toddler doesn't care if there's a baby in your belly.  Saying "watch the movie on the screen" doesn't help.  Queen Elsa isn't going to pop up and sing "Let it Go".  Bringing video games only adds to the distraction.
 - If the first thing you say is "can you tell what it is yet?", it's going to be LAST thing I look at.
- I'm concentrating on looking for abnormalities.  You may not be able to see what I see, but that doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing.
 - the amount of training and testing sonographers have undergone is more than you imagine.  Making comments like "I don't see it" doesn't make it happy.
 - you may have friends who have 3D/4D pictures, pretty cutesy pictures of their babies.  That's great.  Not all babies are photogenic.  We can't literally reach up in there and rotate the baby to be in a better position.  Believe me, we'd love to.
-This may be the highlight of your day.  It's not ours.  You are one in a line of other patients we see and we must be fully devoted to find any abnormality in each and every situation.  Don't mistake our concentration for being unfriendly.
- You're expecting everything to be fine.  The reality is that it may not be.  Do you really want an audience for that?  Think this through before you invite both sets of grandparents, aunt/uncles, and friends to this event.  Instead, how about they come visit your when you actually deliver the baby.  Then they can see the baby in all it's glory.

Now that I've pissed off every expectant mother in the area, let me say this.  Having a baby is a glorious, exciting event.  Focus on what's important!  Planning a life for this child is SO much more important than whether or not the baby has a penis.  I understand the desire to decorate the nursery and buy clothes, believe me I get it!  But when you go in for your ultrasound, please remember that sonographers are not photographers.  We may joke that we are but in reality, we're the ones looking for problems.  If we don't see it, the doctor doesn't know about it.  Try to remember that.