I'm going to make someone mad...

So, lately something's been bugging me.  To be fair this has been bugging me for a while, but I have nothing if not restraint (HA!) so here it is...

Why to parents-to-be think that ultrasound exists only to show them the gender of their child?  It's ridiculous.  In the past week, I've had multiple facebook friends post how many days until they find out the gender of their baby.  3 more days!  2 more days!  Any guesses?  Yea, it's either a boy or a girl.  Nailed it!

I'm a sonographer.  Most people who read this blog know that.  Most people who find this out for the first time get a grin on their faces and say "Do you look at babies!?  I would LOVE to look at babies all day!  It looks so easy!"   I just smile and say no.  I actually work in radiology so I rarely scan babies.  There's a reason for this.  I'm trained how to scan babies.  What does that mean?  It means I'm trained to scan every single inch of your unborn baby to look for abnormalities.  Big scary names, like anencephaly, trisomy 13-18-21, spina bifida, renal agenesis, polydactly, VSD, and the list goes on.  And yes, I'm also trained how to look for the gender.  I choose not to work in a prenatal office because of so many reasons.

While you and your partner/family/friends come in all excited to find out if it's a boy or girl, let me give you a few tips about what the sonographer is thinking at that moment::

 - why did you bring 10 people with you?  It's distracting and you DO NOT want me distracted right now.
- your toddler doesn't care if there's a baby in your belly.  Saying "watch the movie on the screen" doesn't help.  Queen Elsa isn't going to pop up and sing "Let it Go".  Bringing video games only adds to the distraction.
 - If the first thing you say is "can you tell what it is yet?", it's going to be LAST thing I look at.
- I'm concentrating on looking for abnormalities.  You may not be able to see what I see, but that doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing.
 - the amount of training and testing sonographers have undergone is more than you imagine.  Making comments like "I don't see it" doesn't make it happy.
 - you may have friends who have 3D/4D pictures, pretty cutesy pictures of their babies.  That's great.  Not all babies are photogenic.  We can't literally reach up in there and rotate the baby to be in a better position.  Believe me, we'd love to.
-This may be the highlight of your day.  It's not ours.  You are one in a line of other patients we see and we must be fully devoted to find any abnormality in each and every situation.  Don't mistake our concentration for being unfriendly.
- You're expecting everything to be fine.  The reality is that it may not be.  Do you really want an audience for that?  Think this through before you invite both sets of grandparents, aunt/uncles, and friends to this event.  Instead, how about they come visit your when you actually deliver the baby.  Then they can see the baby in all it's glory.

Now that I've pissed off every expectant mother in the area, let me say this.  Having a baby is a glorious, exciting event.  Focus on what's important!  Planning a life for this child is SO much more important than whether or not the baby has a penis.  I understand the desire to decorate the nursery and buy clothes, believe me I get it!  But when you go in for your ultrasound, please remember that sonographers are not photographers.  We may joke that we are but in reality, we're the ones looking for problems.  If we don't see it, the doctor doesn't know about it.  Try to remember that.

{Another} Epic Fail...

So, I've already acknowledged and accepted the fact that I'm not winning any parenting awards.  I will never be mom of the year.  I don't make homemade crafty things.  I don't have a snack waiting for my kids when they get home from school.  I've been known to make pancakes for supper.  I don't think I'm a bad parent, just not Suzy Homemaker.


A few weeks ago Noah was snack boy for his preschool.  What is snack boy, you ask?  Well, all the kids are assigned a day every few months to bring a snack to share with the class.  During snack time that child will help distribute the snacks and be the 'snack helper'.  Apparently it's a big deal when you're 4.  I dunno.

Noah had already been snack boy in the fall but I totally stole someone else's idea of making little baggies of Golden Graham cereal, mini-marshmallows, and chocolate chips...smores in a bag.  This time I wanted to do something more original.  That should have been my first inkling there's a problem; I was trying too hard.  I scoured Pinterest and googled ideas for preschool snacks.  One idea that kept popping up was puppy chow.  Ya know, that glorious snack food made with rice chex, chocolate and powdered sugar?  I have always loved the stuff and since Noah loves anything both sweet and messy, it seemed like a great idea.

So one evening I made a ginormous batch of the stuff, packaged it up in little individualized baggies, and brought it to Noah's school.  He was so excited.  He grinned from ear to ear and announced to his teacher he was snack boy and we were having PUPPY FOOD!  The teacher just laughed.

Off I went on my cloud of joyous accomplishment.  I felt like I had finally done something great.

Then I got the call.

It was the preschool.  Did I use peanut butter in the puppy chow?  Well yes, that's how you make it.  Uh...one of the kids in Noah's class has a peanut allergy.  So, they can't serve the snack.

OH mother trucker.  Seriously?  ONE kid is allergic and you have to scrap the entire thing?  Apparently some peanut allergies are just that severe.  I know for a fact that the mother of this child sends his own snack every day to prevent any reaction, but whatever.  Even the scoopful of peanut butter that's mixed with the chocolate then smothered in powdered sugar can cause a problem.

Bottom line, they couldn't serve the snack.  I had failed my son.  Since NO ONE in my immediate circle of family or friends has a nut allergy it didn't even cross my mind that I needed to be aware of that.  Thinking back, at orientation I'm pretty sure the teachers did mention there was a nut allergy but really, who listens that closely!?  I'm pretty sure I had to pee during that part so my brain wasn't functioning properly.

When I picked up Noah that day he was devastated.  He cried and cried the entire way home.  "THEY SAID IT WASN'T SAFE!" Oops.  My bad.  Chalk that one up to another mommy failure.

But we all ate puppy chow for the next week, peanut butter and all.  And it was delicious.   And sometimes that was supper.  Peanut butter's a protein, right?  ;)