Today was one of those days that self-introspection was needed. We had a busy, busy weekend so my kids were off the wall crazy. Luckily, Mondays are my Yoga day at the Y so it was nice to have peace and quiet, even for just an hour!
I always feel a little stupid while doing Yoga. I've only done it a few times so I'm sure I look pathetic, but besides that, I'm not really into the whole "balanced aura" thing. Still, Yoga does really force you to think about your life.
So as I pondered things, I started thinking about friendship. What makes a friend? Is it being the same age/gender/marital status? For some that's all it takes. For others, they yearn for something deeper than just the superficial statuses. In grade school all it took to find a best friend was sharing the same toys. In Jr. High, it was mutual hatred for something. Be it boys, a certain girl, parents, life. Jr. High was always awkward. Then in high school, friends were made by liking the same activities. You're a band geek? Me too! Let's be friends. At graduation you'd swear you'd always keep in touch, but reality sets in. Now looking back, I'm only close friends with one girl from high school.
Now in my 30's, friendships are made a little differently. It seems that I'm drawn to those women who are in the same life position as me. Married with children, have a career (even if it's a staying home with the kids), active, likes to goof off and have fun. You'd think that'd be easy. Nope. It's amazing how much harder it is to make friends in my 30's! I thought I'd join the church play group. Nope, meets on a day I work. So I thought I'd go to a women's retreat. Couldn't do it. I'm not into the whole "let's hold hands and rejoice that we're women" thing. The only girl I want to hold hands with is my daughter. After that, it's just weird.
So as I pondered while in the downward dog pose, I thought of all the friendships I've had over the years. It took me a minute, not because I've had that many good friendships, but because I never think well with my butt up in the air. Once we moved onto a different pose, the pondering commenced.
I'm in a stage in my life where friendship is more important to me than it ever has been. My stress level has skyrocketed over the past few months. Joel can only listen to me vent for so long before he starts to get that glazed over look. We all need girlfriends who can understand how frustrating it is to work out constantly and not lose weight. Or make an awesome dinner, only to have your 5-year-old gag while eating it (that happened tonight!). And who doesn't want to share the awesomeness of pedicures with a close friend? It's always nice to have someone with you when you can't understand the technician. Between the 2 of you, surely you can translate. :)
As my Yoga class came to an end, I thought to myself, it's time to work on the friendships I have and appreciate those who make me who I am.
And I also need to work on my Yoga poses. I look ridiculous.
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6 months ago
Sara..you are wonderful and I really think that we would be good friends if it wasn't for the fact that I live three states away. I find myself thinking about friendship often. Being in residency you bond quickly with other wives because our husbands are in the same situation. But how long do those bonds last..usually as long as the residency. It really stinks. I find myself in my 30's with very few friends. We will be moving again in a few months to a new state/town. And I will once again be w/o friends. I have never made friends easily so I am not looking forward to that part of moving. I just stay busy with the kids and Scott. My sister helps fill the bill for close friend. That I am very thankful for.
ReplyDeleteI doubt you look ridiculous at yoga! Everybody else is in the same contorted positions :) You bring up a good point about friendship - I think it is harder to make friends the older we get. We're also not around swarms of same-aged people every day like we were in school so you end up making friends with people you work with or something like that. Maybe we all get so distracted with every day life we forget about how important friendship is...which is sad. But you are inspiring me to think about this myself :) - this is Sarah Vanderpool by the way...I can't get this thing to post without putting "anonymous" haha...I look brilliant!
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