Things I never thought I'd say...

Being a mother is an adventure, to say the least!  Over the years, I've heard things come out of my mouth that I SWORE I'd never say.  Or things I never thought I'd say in my adult life.  Here are a few samplings...

~"Did you wipe?", quickly followed by "did you flush?"
~"Don't put that in your mouth/ear/nose/any orifice"
~"Did you just push your brother off the bed?"
~"Don't touch your poop"
~"Spread your legs so I can wash your bottom"
~"Hannah, that's Noah's boy bottom.  Leave it alone"
~"That is the difference between boys and girls.  Let's just leave it at that."
~"Flies can't hurt you."
~"You're a lion, huh?  Well, bring your lion self on over to the table"
~"Don't eat the Desitin!"
~"No you can't play with a real sword.  They're very dangerous"
~"When your father gets home, you can explain to him why you did ___________"
~"Honey, George is a pretend monkey.  He can't actually do these things"

There are so many more that I can't think of right now.  Life became much more interesting when we brought Noah into the family.  Hannah and Noah love playing with each other but it does make for some stressful days.  I wouldn't change them for anything though.

Day at the Lake

Joel's boss owns some land on a lake in southern Iowa.  Her house hasn't been built yet so she literally owns land only.  But it buts right up to the lake so she had a beach put in.  Yes, you read that correctly.  She put in a beach.  Funny.  So this past Saturday, she invited all her employees (there's only a dozen or so) so her land for the day.  She also has a boat and a 2-person tube to pull behind.  It's about a 2 hour drive to get there so I knew Noah wouldn't do well with the distance (that boy HATES to be strapped in his car seat for more than a few minutes!) so we left him at home for the day and just planned on taking Hannah.  It ended up working out that Salli and her kids came down for the weekend too.  So we brought Natalie and Jack along with us and left Salli at home with Noah and Katie.

It was an awesome day to be at the lake!  It was warm and sunny so the water felt great.  Jack had a great time rolling around in the sand.  Literally...rolling...in...the...sand.  His scalp was plastered with sand by the end of the day!  After a while, we all went out on the boat.  Natalie was the first to ride on the tube. She had such a great time.  She had the biggest smile on her face.  Poor Joel had to lay down practically on top of her and hold on tight to make sure she didn't go flying off.  They both had life jackets on but still...

Joel took a little breather to rest his biceps while another few kids had a turn then Hannah wanted to go.  She got on the tube...and that was about it.  It's one thing to watch, another to actually do.  But she got to sit on it so fine.

Jack wanted to go too.  He did pretty well.  He had a huge grin on his face for the first few minutes.  After that, it was time to be done.

By the time we got home that night, all of us were sunburned, filthy, and exhausted but had a great time.  Hopefully next year we can get Hannah on the tube and actually pull her around.

The 5K Experience

I did it! I actually ran a 5K. I amaze myself sometimes. I was doubting myself the few days leading up to the run. I hesitate to call is a "race" because it's not like I'm trying to win. Let's face it, just finishing the race is enough for me.

So the day was perfect. My run started at 7:15am so it was still cool and low humidity. I had been worried that it was going to be super hot and super humid even that early. Running in humidity isn't fun. I feel like I can't breathe! Not a good feeling. I was planning on getting to the race about 6:30 so I'd have time to go pee and stretch. However, after getting lost in downtown Minneapolis after dropping off Joel, Aaron, and Salli at their 1/2 marathon starting spot, I didn't get to the starting line until 7:00am. Luckily, I still had time to pee. Stretching, not so much. I made sure to be near the back of the crowd so I wouldn't get trampled too early on. And off I went. The first 1/2 mile wasn't too fun because my muscles were a tad tight. After that it was pretty good. Until mile 2.5. Someone moved Mt Everest to Minneapolis. I turned a corner and WHAM. There's it was. Mt. Everest. And who should be there squatting at the bottom of the mountain? A photographer. Seriously? Who wants to be photographed while hot and sweaty. It was like a bad paparazzi. He wasn't even trying to hide. As I was contemplating the best way to scale the mountain, the guy snapped my picture. (I was e-mailed the picture later. I look annoyed. However, I was wearing my super comfy ESPRIT t-shirt circa 1994 so that was pretty awesome to see) About 1/2 way up the mountain/hill I realized my feet were moving but I wasn't going anywhere! So I had to walk up the dumb thing. Once I got past that, it was just another 1/2 mile or so to the finish line.

My time was pretty good, for my first race. I had a goal in my head of what my time would be. I beat it by 3 minutes. My next run is in October but I'm going to try to run another one in September. There's always random 5K races going on every weekend. I still can't say I love running. I don't, nor do I think I ever will. However, I'm getting a little better at it. I ran 3.5 miles the other day and I didn't die. That's quite an accomplishment for me! :)

Iowa State Fair

Let's just get this out in the open. I hate the State Fair. To me, it's a bunch of smelly rednecks and smellier animals thrown together in the August heat to ferment and cause even more smelliness. And the fried food? What the heck? Does America really need more obesity? Ok...I'm off my rant. This year my employer gave all of us free admission tickets to the fair as well as some free activity tickets. In years past when they've done this, I've given my tickets away. Joel and I hate going to the fair (see above rant for reasons why). This year however, Hannah is 4 and loves animals so we thought we'd give it a try. Even Noah being 1 is a trooper and will tag along anywhere as long as there's food involved. The day started out a little rocky. Our camera batteries died so we had to buy some there. $3.50 for 2 batteries! Had to be done though. Then my flip flop broke. Seriously, the strap that goes between your toes just came right through the shoe. Darn cheap Old Navy flip-flops. Of course I had had them for eons so I guess they'd done pretty well for a $2 shoe. So what to do when your shoe breaks? Go do the medical tent! Yep, I walked right in and asked if I could have some medical tape to fix my shoe. They didn't even blink. Just went to a drawer and pulled it out. I made a joke about using their medical training to fix a flip flop and he said he's fixed many shoes since the fair started! Seriously!? In the mean time, Joel scored some duct tape from the general store so between the 2 tapes, I was back in business. After that the day got much better. The kids absolutely LOVED everything we did which made it so much more enjoyable for me. The weather was really nice so it wasn't too smelly :) I don't know if we'll go every year but this was definitely the first year I've not wanted to bring scissors and cut off a mullet. :) Here are some pictures from the fun...

You can just see Noah's brain working. He's trying to figure out how to grab the butterfly and put it in his mouth...or demolish it.

She riding the pony. She seriously thought this was the best thing ever

Hannah riding the pony.

I seriously thought the camel was going to spit on us. He had disgusting teeth! Good thing Noah was keeping an eye on the situation.

Hannah and Noah kept running through the shooting water thing. They both got soaked but had a great time.

Attempting to get a good family picture. This is actually the best one. Poor Hannah was a smidge too short

Joel and Hannah going down the giant slide. She LOVED it!

Grandma and Hannah riding the sky glider.

Noah was tuckered out by the time we left

A Three Stooges Moment...

I'm sure everyone remembers the 3 stooges skit "Who's on First". Well, we had one of those moments in the Jernstad household tonight. A little background...

Hannah and Noah go to a wonderful in-home daycare on the days I'm working. One of the other girl's name is Morgan, who I think just turned 2. Morgan's niece, Lexie also goes there. Yes, I said niece. Morgan's mom, Gia was pregnant at the same time as her 17-year-old daughter. I can't remember her name so we'll just call her "baby mama", BM for short. :) Sometimes Gia will pick up both Morgan and Lexie from daycare, other times BM picks them both up. Here comes the confusion...

Hannah: Daddy, you need to go get another mommy.

Daddy: What??!!

Hannah: Yea, you need another mommy. Like Morgan and Lexie have 2 mommies.

Me: Hannah, do you think that Lexie's mommy and Morgan's mommy are both their mommies?

Hannah: Yea!

Me: Well, actually Lexie's mommy is Morgan's sister. So Morgan is Lexie's aunt.

Hannah: No she's not.

Daddy: Hannah, you know how Aunt Salli is mommy's sister? That's why you call her Aunt Salli. She's your aunt. Morgan is Lexie's mommy's sister so she's Lexie's aunt.

Hannah: What?

Me: Yes, Hannah. Just like Aunt Salli is your aunt, Morgan is Lexie's aunt.

Hannah: Mommy, an ant is a bug!

Me: *sigh*

Sometimes I hate the English language.

Update on running...

I'm done with my Couch to 5K training! So does that mean I can run 3.1 miles? Oh, heck no! I'm pretty darn close though! I'm still trying to run 3 times a week for a minimum of 2.5 miles. The kicker is trying to get outside to do the running. So far, it's been mostly on the treadmill at the Y. The weather here has been terrible for running outside. It's either raining, super hot, or so humid you start sweating just walking to the mailbox. My big 5K race in August is, of course outside so I need to start getting out there. I can never remember the actual name of the race so I've nicknamed it "my race of death". I'm really hoping I don't die during the race but you never know. :)

There are still plenty of things I hate about running. Namely, the way my face turns bright red every time I run. Seriously, I look like my head is going to explode. And here's a huge pet peeve of mine...When the Y is busy so most of the treadmills are being used, it's fine to come and take the treadmill right next to me. But when it's not busy and there are several free treadmills, don't come and park yourself in the treadmill next to mine. It's annoying. It makes me want to throw things at you. It's like going to the movie theater and sitting right next to a stranger even though the entire theater is empty. Dude, it's creepy.

The difference between boys and girls...

OK, I understand that there is an anatomical difference between boys and girls. My mom gave me that talk long ago. But besides just the anatomy, I really think boys are wired differently than girls! Now that Noah is getting a tad older (he's a whole whopping 15-months now, practically a toddler!), he's developing such a distinct personality. From day 1 we could tell that he was a go-getter. He was constantly on the go. Even in sleep, he'd be all over that crib! It was funny to watch him sleep. He'd do circles around the crib. Now that he's walking, he just has a bigger play ground.

Hannah is my tender-hearted, sweet baby girl. She's always wanting to read a book, snuggle in my lap, always making sure to ask if we're happy. She's very thoughtful.

Noah loves to tackle Hannah. He'll just walk up to her and pounce. It makes me laugh every time. Today, Hannah had her 4-year check-up at the doctor (a tad late but what can ya do?) Hannah HATES going to the doctor with a passion. I think it's because she thinks doctor=shots. Granted, there is some truth to that. Up until now just about every doctor's visit has included a shot...or 4. So today, Hannah was sitting on my lap crying her eyes out as the doctor checked her over. Noah was walking around the room and realized he was missing out on the fun and wanted to be included. So over he comes and wants up on my lap also. Good thing I have plenty of lap space :) I see Noah reach over to comfort Hannah and I think "wow, my son is so sweet". Nope, he pulled her hair. That just made Hannah scream even louder. Nothing like kicking her when she's down!

Everything is a throw toy to Noah. It could be a shoe and suddenly it goes flying across the room. He's in Kindermusik class for the first time this summer. He's a serious social butterfly! All the other kids sit in their mom's laps or may crawl a foot away but come right back. Not Noah. He's all over the place. If another mom's lap gets vacated, he's right there to hop on. And when it's "relaxation time" when the lights are low and the teacher puts on soft music for us to snuggle, Noah would rather walk around and scare the other kids. One class she passed out little drums for the kids to beat on. Noah hit it one time then decided he'd rather throw it. He'd crawl over to it then throw it again. I put the ca-bosh on that pretty quickly.

Hannah always asks permission before she does anything. Noah just jumps right in. I have a feeling Noah's teenage years are going to give me some gray hair. We'll have to enroll him in some sports to give him an energy outlet.