Heavy Heart

I posted a few weeks ago about a mom awaiting the birth of her very abnormal baby boy.  This story gripped me.  Click here to go the their blog.  I followed along as Lisa and Josh (the parents) struggled to understand why they were chosen to parent this boy, Jaxton.  He overcame many odds and survived the birth!  Many of the abnormalities they thought he would have weren't as bad as initially thought.  Instead of Trisomy 13, he was found to have Trisomy 18.

So fast forward to a couple days ago.  The doctors did a test on Jaxton to see if he could breath on his own, without the ventilator.  It did not go well.  They repeated the test a few days later just to confirm but bottom line, Jaxton could not survive without a ventilator.  So they made the horrific decision to unplug the vent.  They asked for prayers that God would perform a miracle for little Jaxton.  Then at the exact moment he had been born 2 weeks prior, the vent was turned off.

30 minutes later Jaxton died.

I can not imagine watching your baby die.  Even though the odds were stacked against them, to actually turn off the one device keeping your child alive?  I'd like to think I'd be strong enough but I just don't think I could.