seriously?

So, Noah has a heart murmur.  Seriously?  What the heck??  I took him to his 18-month well baby check-up today.  He's had croup twice in the last month so as the doctor listened to Noah in different positions, I thought he was checking Noah's lungs.  Nope.  Apparently if a murmur is heard, changing positions will cause the murmur to either go away or stay.  Noah's stayed.  So that means it's worth checking into.  Really?  *sigh*  This was not on my radar.  Noah's never had a murmur before so the fact that he does now raised enough of a red flag for further testing.  

I had a heart murmur as a child.  I grew out of it.  The doctors did some tests on me but everything was fine.  I know heart murmurs aren't exactly rare.  I totally get that.  But this is my son.  He's my little bubba.   I can't even imagine the cardiologist saying there's something seriously wrong with him.  My brain can't comprehend it.  Somewhere in the shadows of my brain, I realize that our appointment with the cardiologist could be the worst day of my life.  I left the pediatricians office today thinking "hey, it's fine.  No big deal.  This is why there are pediatric cardiologists around."  I had to call Joel and give him the news.  He didn't take it quite as calmly.  So that started me freaking out a little. We see a pediatric cardiologist next Wednesday, 11/10.  It's some random doctor with a million letters in his name.  Noah will have his heart listened to for a longer period of time then an ultrasound will be done to visualize the chambers and valves.  Even though I'm an ultrasound tech, I'm not trained in cardiac ultrasound so I will have no clue what's on the screen.  I'm kinda hoping I know the tech (ultrasound is a small world) so I can terrorize ask nicely for results.