Because Dr. Oz said so!

I have a love/hate relationship with Dr. Oz.  You know, that celebrity Hollywood doctor that got his big break by being on the Oprah show?  Kinda reminds me of Dr. Phil's start up too.

I love Dr. Oz because he brings light so medical issues that may otherwise go unvoiced.  For example, women's health.  I think women get scared to go to the doctor for something like a pelvic or breast exam.  He shows women that it's not such a big deal to go and some major problems can be diagnosed and treated quite simply.  For that, I think he's wonderful.

Here's why I hate him.  Because he sensationalizes everything!  I mean, seriously.  If I have a dollar for every time I scan a patient simply because "Dr. Oz said so"...well, I'd have several dollars.

Here's a few situations...

• a patient came in for a thyroid ultrasound.  The diagnosis was "nodule".  Now, before we all get excited, let me just say that almost everyone in the world has a thyroid nodule.  They're benign little growths on the thyroid.  I have 3 of them.  Not a big deal.  Unless they get large or your blood levels show a problem, we leave them alone.  So this patient comes in.  I ask her why we're doing the exam.  She starts off with "I was watching Dr. Oz...".  Right about then was when I rolled my eyes.  She continued to say that this particular episode of Dr. Oz was about thyroid disease and how it can be a silent disease.  He recommended that all viewers go to their doctors.  So she did, even though she had no symptoms of thyroid disease.  She insisted that a blood test and ultrasound be performed.  So they were.  And guess what?  I found a nodule.  Woo-hoo.  Her blood test was normal.  There was nothing wrong.  So how was that helpful for her?
• A patient came in for a pelvic ultrasound.  Guess how she responded when I asked why she was there?  Yep.  Because "Dr. Oz said so".  She had watched an episode about ovarian cancer.  So there she was, getting an ultrasound to look for ovarian cancer, even though her pelvic exam was normal and she had no family history of cancer.  
• The best was one I heard today.  My mom is a nurse in the GI department.  So she talks to patients when they call in with a problem.  Today she got her first "Dr. Oz call".  A patient had just watched a Dr. Oz episode about treating Crohn's disease with...parasites!  Seriously?  So guess how this patients wanted her Crohn's disease treated?  Yep, parasites.  My mom had to tell her that was not something these doctors were comfortable with doing and to contact a teaching hospital, like U of I.  Perhaps they knew more.  

Now, I do believe that Dr. Oz has some good topics.  But let's remember.  He's a talk show host.  He's also a Hollywood doctor.  Would he be a Hollywood talk show host if he talked about yeast infections and heavy periods?  With the rise in health care costs, do we really need to rush to the doctor simply because "Dr. Oz said so"?  

Remember the time...

Whenever I get together with my family, it seems like someone starts reminiscing about something or other.  Lately it's been hotter here than the surface of the sun so that starts me thinking about when I was a kid and it was hot.  I'm pretty sure it was never this hot out.  My mom would disagree but what does she know?  :)

I know when I was a kid, there was no sitting in the A/C watching movies and TV all day.  My mom would have had an aneurysm.  She surely kicked us out and told us to get some exercise.  *Side note: back then you could be gone for hours on end and no one thought a thing about it.  Now you'd be arrested for child endangerment or something.*  But I digress...

One thing we loved to do on a hot summer day was ride our go-kart.  Yes, a go-kart.  We lived on a big acreage to we had the space to ride around.  It wasn't like we were popping wheelies in the driveway.  Nope, this was hard-core, all-out go-karting!  Seriously, lives were at stake here!  We would race as fast as we possibly could, never thinking about things being in our way, like trees, the well, or our siblings.  Nope, it just didn't occur to us that there could possibly be a hazard in our path.  Our back acre was nothing but prairie grass so one day, my dad took out the old Snapper riding lawn mower and made us a go-kart path through the prairie grass.  This wasn't some boring straight line.  No way, this was a seriously loopy path.  There was a short path and a long one that looped together and connected.  It was a masterpiece.

So on the hot days, we'd go outside, start up the go-kart and ride like the wind.  My sister would ride with a big smile on her face and her mop of frizzy blond hair flapping in the breeze.  (yes Salli, it was frizzy.  Hello!  It was the 80's...practically a compliment)  My brother would go as fast as he possibly could with his mouth wide open.  (I have always been curious how many bugs went straight down his throat).  I was always last to go (curse of the 3rd child), and I'm sure I had a look of complete shock that it was finally my turn and there was actually still gas in the thing.  I was always scared to go through the prairie grass though.  You never knew when you might come across a spider web hanging across with a big old garden spider planted right in your path.  Yep, it happened to me once or twice.  Perhaps that's why I hate spiders so much now...

Anyway, so as these days are super hot and humid, I long for our go-kart.  Although if I were to get on one today I'd want a thicker seat.  Man, my butt hurt after riding!  Oh, and better shocks.  Nothing like getting your innerds good and jostled.  While we're at it, make the seat go back a bit.  I could have flossed my teeth with my knees.  Oh, and really...what was up with the noise?  Could it not have been a tad quieter?

Ok so maybe I don't really want a go-kart, I want a Land Rover.  :)

Public vs. Private

Hannah is starting Kindergarten this year.  Many moms freak out when this happens.  It's like the child finished preschool, goes through the summer, yet somehow the idea of kindergarten is completely foreign to the parents.  Hello!  It's kindergarten.  No big?  Right?

I was doing really well with the whole 'sending my child off to school' thing.  I mean, she went to preschool 3 mornings a week last year and did fine.  She loved it.  So I felt completely prepared for sending Hannah off to all day/every day kindergarten.  Then we got an e-mail...

It was from the school district informing us (well, all parents really) that we could now go on-line and register our child for hot lunches, pay fees, etc...I freaked.  I mean hard-core, panic attack freak out.  It wasn't just that Hannah was going to eat a hot lunch every day.  It's the fact that as a 5-year-old she has to remember her PIN.  Really?  She's 5!  I'm lucky if she remembers to brush her teeth and put on clean underwear every day.  Left to rely on her memory and she'll be starving every day.  So I freaked. And freaked some more.  I cried and wailed a bit about my poor little baby going off to a big public school.  She's going to be made fun of, get scared, forget her PIN, forget where she, forget her name, forget me...the list went on.

I mean it's kindergarten!  K.I.N.D.E.R.G.A.R.T.E.N!  Practically a military school for babies!

It got so bad that I begged my parents to help pay for Hannah to go to a private school.  They agreed.  Of course, the fact that I was crying as I asked them probably helped my plea.  So then we started the enrollment process at one of the area private schools.  There were 2 we were choosing between.  But neither of them "felt" right.  One had awesome after school care, the other didn't have it at all.  But the one without after school care had a better curriculum with more opportunities for kids.  We were torn. Plus, one was here in Ankeny, the other in the ghetto.  And of course the ghetto one was a better school, in my opinion.  SO what to do.  We prayed, of course but there wasn't any magical solution.

I turned to facebook.  Surely someone out there would have some awesome advice for me.  Uh...I think I started a facebook fight.  There are some seriously passionate people out there!  I heard all sorts of horror stories about kids in both public and private school.  So ok, that didn't help.  I was about to freak out all over again when I got a phone call.

It was from the principal at her public elementary school.  He was calling all the parents of kindergartners to let them know something about the school.  Because Ankeny has grown a TON in the past year, there are more kindergartners than allowed.  They can hold 25 students per class, with 5 classes.  So 125 students.  They have a lot more than that enrolled.  As I was sitting there thinking "well, I guess private school it is", he said he was giving me a choice.  I could keep her enrolled in the current school or send her to a different elementary school in Ankeny.  Huh?  Come again?  The school she would then be going to would have no more than 25 kids in the class, it's actually closer to us, and we have a friend who would pick up Hannah after school on the days I work and watch her until I could pick her up.  There's a new elementary school being built right now so next year Hannah will be going to that one anyway.  No biggy if she goes to one school this year and another one next year.  A lot of kids are going to be doing that.  Huh.  What's that God?  You're telling us something here?

So the decision was made.  Hannah will be going to Crocker Elementary school in Ankeny in just a few weeks.  I'm still a tad freaked out, but I'm hearing this is a normal thing for moms.  Luckily I have some amazing neighbors that have held my hand and told me to calm down.  I need that most some days.  My little girl is growing up!

Stupid cars...

I hate cars.  I hate that we have to rely on them for transportation.  I hate that every 3-5,000 miles we have to take them in to get the oil changed.  And gas prices?  Seriously.  It's more than my feeble mind can handle. 

Just last year we upgraded from a Taurus to a mini-van.  It was delightful.  The space, the sliding doors, the sun roof.  Ahhh...bliss.  We promised to always keep it clean.  Well, apparently the kids didn't get that memo as daily I find sippy cups (please, not milk!), toys and crumbs galore.  At least the outside still looks nice. 

Joel's car is a piece of c.r.a.p.  We knew this.  We've known this for a while.  It's a 1998 Ford Contour with 147,000 miles on it.  We got it right after we got married in 2001 when both of our cars bit the dust and we needed to replace them.  The contour was a mere 3 years old with only 22,000 miles on it.  Boy have we gotten our money's worth out of that thing.  But it's been showing it's age recently.  The headlights are very dim, like they're tired.  No amount of cleaner or new light bulbs would wake them up.  The interior light rarely works.  The trunk release buttons works on occasion.  More times than not, you have to actually turn off the car and use the key to open the trunk.  One of the door rubber things keeps falling down.  But, there was barely a spot of rust on it and it still ran...until recently.

Dum, dum, dddduuuummmm....

I bought 2 of those Groupon coupon things a few months back for a Car-X deal.  Get an oil change and 41-point inspection for dirt cheap.  So I figured the next time our cars needed an oil change, we'd just take them there.  Good deal.  The van was fine.  A few minor maintenence deals but nothing earth shattering.  Then the contour's turn.  Seriously it's like when you take your child to the dentist.  You know you've done everything right.  Brushing and flossing, avoid sugary things.  Still,  you wait with baited breath while the dentist pokes and prods, hoping no cavities are found. 

Cavities were found in the contour.  BIG cavities!  Big, Expensive Cavities!! 

As the mechanic listed off all the things wrong with the car and all it would cost, Joel and I just stared silently.  Huh.  So what to do?  The car isn't worth that much.  We've been saving for a new one but aren't "there" yet.  Cars never seem to die when you want them to!  Nope, they wait until you're thinking of going on vacation or buying a new outfit.  Then BAM!  Dead.  Stupid cars.  So now what? 

Do what anyone does when a dentist tells you every tooth in your mouth needs to be yanked!  Get a 2nd opinion! 

So that's what we did.  We took our baby car to our mechanic.  He called us with the news.  Not only did he confirm everything Car-X found, but he also found more wrong with the car.  And that was just the beginning!  The damage to the engine was so extensive that it was possible we could fix everything he listed then be back in a month to fix more.

Decision made.  Sorry contour, your days as a Jernstad are over.

So the search begins...

Poor Joel

If you were to spend any length of time with my family, at some point someone would made the comment "Poor Joel".  It has become a family joke.  And yes, it has to do with my husband, Joel.  

Here's the scoop...

Several years ago my grandma Cowell was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  She happened to live in a nursing home in West Des Moines, which made it easier for her family (us) to visit her.  My grandma Cowell was a wonderful, fun lady.  I always stayed at her house for one week every summer.  It was a time for just grandma and me.  Seeing her reduced to a dying woman who couldn't even remember her own name was heartbreaking.  Needless to say, it was hard to visit her.  One day my whole family went to say "HI!".  Nothing like being bombarded with a group of smiling giants when you don't know who or where you are!  

By this time grandma was bedridden.  We all filed into her room and formed a semi-circle around her bed.  Then, with smiles plastered on our faces, we willed grandma to remember who we were.  Sadly, she did not.  My mom went around the circle saying our names and how we were related to her, hoping for a response from grandma.  Here was Larry, grandma's son (and my dad).  Nothing.  Next was Salli, Larry's daughter (my sister).  Still nothing.  Then Aaron, Salli's husband.  Nada.  Down the line we went.  Finally it was my turn.  My mom "introduced" me and I smiled at grandma.  Nope, no recognition.  Then Joel was introduced as my husband.  An amazing thing happened.  Grandma's eyes lit up like she had just seen an angel! And here's how the conversation went down...

Mom:  "Do you know who this is?"

Grandma: "Oh yes!  It's Joel!"

Mom (said with glee):  "Yes, it's Joel.  He's Sara's husband."

Grandma (with a concerned look):  "Joel.  Poor Joel"

Mom:  "uh...."

Grandma Cowell didn't live much longer.  But she will remembered forever for many reasons; one of which is that, in a moment of clarity, she remembered Joel...and felt bad for him. 

A crack in the bone

I've been doing quite well with the running this spring.  I was faithful at getting outside and running a few miles 4-5 times per week.  Some days I only went 2 miles, others I ran longer.  And then I'd also go to the Y for strength training and other classes.  I was starting to feel my ab muscles come out of the fridge!  Yea for me!

So then a few weeks ago I decided to run pretty late at night.  I hate running after eating but I really felt like I needed to.  So off I went.  I figured if I started to feel sick, I'd just walk.  No big.  I pushed myself and ran 2 miles, even feeling a little 'off'.  The next morning was a Monday, my day off.  I got up, got the kids ready, and went off to the Y like normal.  I noticed that my right foot hurt a little but figured it was fine, maybe a strained muscle or something.  Later that day I happened to have a doctor's appointment.  By then I had changed out of my tennis shoes and into flip flops.  As I glanced down at my foot, I realized my right foot was super swollen.  Oh crap.  

Off the doctor I went and mentioned that my foot was enormous a tad swollen.  She pushed on a few spots and I almost jumped off the chair.  Not good.  So she sent me for an x-ray.  Working in radiology gets me some perks.  I had the x-ray then walked into the reading room and made the radiologist look at it right away.  The x-ray was normal.  No broken bones.  Then he told me stress fractures don't show up on x-rays right away.  They take a few weeks to show up.  Well, that's just dumb.  I figured I'd wait a few weeks and see how my foot responded to Aleve.  It didn't.  It was still super swollen and painful.  So painful that I had to be put on Vicodin just to get through the day. My doctor felt that seeing a foot surgeon was a good idea.  

So off the foot surgeon I went.  I really thought he's push on my foot and say it was a tendon or muscle issue, get some physical therapy and time.  I was prepared for that.  What I was NOT prepared for was for him to push on a few spots on my foot and announce that I have a stress fracture in 2 places.  As if that wasn't bad enough, I get the pleasure of wearing a boot for the next 6 weeks.  Oh, and no exercising whatsoever.  Shut. The. Front. Door.  I asked him what he meant by "no exercising".  He literally means NOTHING.  No elliptical, no running (well duh), no biking, no classes.  So what can I do?  I can ride a stationery bike at a slow pace or walk slowly.  Are you kidding me?  And the 2 races I'm signed up to do in a few weeks.  Nope.  Not so much.  Oh, and I'm not supposed to drive either.  Joel's response to that?  He's not driving me around like Miss Daisy.  :)  I've gotten around that by taking off the boot to drive.  

The only good thing about the boot?  At least it's not a cast.  :)

Some days...

• I want to strangle my dog for pooping in the house.
• I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.
• I want to go somewhere by myself and just listen to nature.
• I want to tell my kids that whining/complaining/being fussy is going to put mommy in an early grave.
• I want to strangle my husband for various reasons.
• I want ask all my patients that show up late for their appointment what was so important that they needed to waste my time.
• I want to ask the Title XIX patients how they can afford a better phone/purse/clothes than me.
• I want to clean my entire house from top to bottom then take pictures for memories' sake.
• I want to hug my kids the entire day.
• I want to eat an entire pizza and big vat of ice cream without gaining an ounce.
• I want to spend time with my best friend, and only my best friend.

I have many good days, some bad days, and a few really bad days.  No matter what happens, I love that I have a family who loves me, friends who like me, and a dog who tolerates me.  Life is good :)